MEMORIES ARE OF THE PAST

 

Around 10 years of friendship, love and hate. A few downs but so many ups. With so much history, one would think that life is too short to just throw it all away.

The adventures to the to the middle, to the end and places in between. Travelling over the sand dunes and watching the sun go down on the border corners.

Looking for hidden gems and the oldest of minerals. Snorkelling with the fishies and introducing me to fishing shirts that now I cannot get enough of.

Laughing at stupid shit then can sit in silence just enjoying our surroundings as the fire crackles.

Being amazed by whales and the gorgeous beach puppies. Feeding the wildlife in Tassie and chasing wombats while birds steal your sandwiches.

Cooking homemade bread rolls and amazing dinners in the Q. Scoffing down sushi till our bellies were full.

Loving your family with all my heart, breaks as not only have I lost you. I have lost them too. The love from your family gave me. The love from my family for you. Who’s going to help clean out my pops shed now?

Filling your shed with bargains that I was always looking out for. Getting excited for when something new came along. Not needed but wanted anyway because .. well why not.

Doing your washing and folding. Making your home as my second. I slept so well in the spare room, even though the mozzies annoyed me.

Your baby girl loved me more that you – But you’d feed her, so she loved you too. Sooty loves his croc bed. But now you won’t see him grow and how he’s turning into the most beautiful little man.

I would always take your advice and ideas. Help me with things I just could not do on my own.

I would sit and watch you tinker away. it didn’t bore me – it made me more and more interested. Although I may have fallen asleep on the shed floor.

Late night drives to skids, day drives to waterfalls. Sitting on the couch doing fuck all.

Who’s going to get excited seeing a tow truck or another 60 now.

Listening to Git Up and doing the moves in the trucktor

I was so interested in your interests. Wanting to be involved and wanting to go exploring and swinging. I wish I got to go more. But that’s one more thing that’s gone from my life.

I care for you more than you’d know or want. I know sometimes I wouldn’t be the best encourager for your health, but I appreciated you no matter what. Sometimes you need a burger with the lot inc beetroot. Making snow cones with Ribena was one of my greatest joys. 

Items are now left in boxes, wasted money. Objects kept, won’t be returned. Coins adding up in jars, cars not getting washed.

I’m sure you cared for me, and it did show but something changed, and you no longer do. Honest and open communication would be the key, but yelling and screaming wasn’t the way. I was so angry and upset, hurt with so much disbelief, I said horrible things. Things I regretted as soon as I drove away with the tears streaming down my face.

We tried being lovers and it worked for a while, then didn’t. We became strangers for an awfully long time and then we became friends again and so much more.

You were my best friend, my sole mate. Someone I could talk to, knowing you didn’t really give a shit, but listened anyway. Then changing the subject onto something you wanted to tell me about. My problems went away once we hung out.

You’d be the one I would call if I was in need of help – even if you were miles and miles away, you were the first person I needed.

I've tried so many times to to get a response – but nothing seems to be getting through. My apologies fall of deaf ears. There is only so much I can do.

So I have to give up and accept that things are no longer.

Memories are of the past, and no new ones being made.